Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
