that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
