Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
My balls are so social today.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
