Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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