i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
