if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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