Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
