too bad you live with your parents still
I think I am morally bankrupt
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
