Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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