im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
