Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
