just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I currently don't understand fingers.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
