I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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