New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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