Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
