Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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