I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
he fucked my hip out of place.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Randomize
