I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
