So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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