this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
