it hurts more in the daytime
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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