i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
