hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
