I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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