Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Hippo gnu deer
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
