apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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