Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
COCAINE IS GR8
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
