hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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