dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
