so that wasnt chicken after all
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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