careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
it's like iHOP with fire
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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