We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
