Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
