Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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