I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
