she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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