The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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