OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
