Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
