My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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