A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Randomize
