just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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