Just fell off a train. Bad.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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