Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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