i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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