I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
