At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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