My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
