I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize