Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
