you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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